Leadership and the Art of Fiddling
I want to share something that occurs to me about similarities between our roles and leaders and playing the fiddle. Let me tell you, playing the fiddle is not easy. That can be said of leadership as well. There’s an art to both. Let’s start with the fiddle part. As much as the tunes sound fun, light-hearted and lively the technique required to sound anything other than run-out-of-the-room-and-slam-the-door-squeaky is hard work.
Take playing double stops, for example. It’s hard enough playing on one string but adding another can feel like leveling up pretty quickly. My teacher, Chad, makes it look easy-peasy. Yeah, well, not so much. I’m working hard trying everything. Move my elbow up, no, move it down, not so much pressure on the bow, let it glide. I let it glide then I’m only on one string! This is sweat-worthy work. Chad gives me several suggestions analyzing what I’m doing and not doing, making adjustments here and there. One of the problems I’m encountering is that the finger I’m playing a note with on one string is touching the string next to it that I’m also trying to play. Trust me … no beautiful double stop bursting forth here! After several tips and little success he finally says in his wise and profound way, “Just don’t touch the A string. Do whatever you have to do to not touch the A.”
It takes a moment but I get it. There’s something familiar about this. I can analyze things forever trying to figure out why I think this, why I feel that, maybe I should … But, ultimately, I just need to stop doing that thing that is causing me to suffer. That’s not to say that I don’t need to consider what is driving my emotions, my reactions (vs. responses) and to see the ways my behavior isn’t aligned with the result I’m wanting. It is important to understand my thought patterns and how they drive me. Without that I can’t make the course corrections necessary to keep my eye on the bigger picture of what’s most important. And isn’t it also true of leadership? We analyze the ways we interact with direct reports, peers and those we have to answer to in this same way. How should I really deliver this message? I want to create clear expectations and I want people to feel that I have empathy. I need to meet the expectations of our stakeholders and I need tell them the truth about our challenges.
But I’m getting ahead of myself here. Just like with trying to play double strings on my fiddle, I can analyze what I’m doing, what the other person is doing, why I’m doing that, where the other person’s response is coming from ad nauseum. Maybe this sounds familiar to you too. It’s exhausting! At a certain point, the bottom line is that I need to realize that what I’m doing isn’t getting the result I’m wanting. Sometimes the answer is right under my nose and because I’m up in my head I’m not seeing it. Or maybe I’m feeling a little defensive or fearful about how others will perceive me … not competent or not enough “something.” The best thing to do is to realize that whatever the reason or justification, I just need to not touch the A string. Afterall, what I really want is that beautiful double stop.